This moment

Hey 2 weeks in a row is good!
~ This Moment ~ A moment from the week I want to pause and savor. A simple, ordinary, extraordinary moment.

Trademarked ~SouleMama~

This moment

This moment ~ A Friday Ritual (for me every other), a single picture, no words. Capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, ordinary moment. That I want to pause and savor.

(Trademarked by SouleMama)

~This Moment~

Trademarked by Soulemama.

~This Moment~ a single picture, special, extraordinary, simple, that I want to remember.

This is actually from last week but I missed putting one up last week.

~This Moment~

~this moment~ Trademarked by SouleMama
A Friday ritual. A single photo, no word, capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. One that I want to remember. Please leave your moment in the comments.

Just another day on the Farm

First I have got to credit my sis for the title ~ Thanks!

What a weird and wacky week we've had this week. It's been short but it's been wild. Mon. wasn't so bad, just tried to get some of the vacumming and mopping done in the mud room (actually the dust room this time of year) and the kitchen. Plus the hubs needed to take the lawn mower in and get hay. Of course he waited all week to do this on the day he had to leave out again and guess what ~ surprise surprise ~ they were both closed. Which left me in an irritated and grouchy mood for the day. Then there was the pickup of the stepson. Which isn't to bad except I had to do it, because it was suit shopping for him and shoes for him and my son. Suits for boys are not easy to find anymore and my stepson is at an "awkward" size for dress shoes. Normally we let them wear boots but he no longer has dress boots and dress shoes at his age are way way way cheaper than dress boots! And finding shoes for my son was ridiculous and after exhausting all the cheaper options and myself meant the StrideRite, which had a pair for my son. It was also the realization of 2 things, it's the first time the my oldest (stepson) had outgrown StrideRite AND his feet are now BIGGER than MINE! What!?!?!?
Then home, where my mom had kept the daughter, thank goodness, because before the suit shopping I had to pick up my bridesmaid dress, which wasn't mine, as the bride got mine labeled for her 12 year old soon to be stepdaughter. After the suit shopping it meant the drive back and dropping the bridesmaid's dress at the bride's house then running to the store, because even with a list I always forget something! Big hugs to hubs for feeding all the animals before he left out!
Tired yet? This was just Monday.
Tuesday started at 5:30 when I heard my oldest getting ready for the bus and I always listen (shhh don't tell him) for him to go out the door and listen for the bus to come. Tuesday is also my helper day in my daughter's kinder room, then I stayed over and helped with the finish work the kids had to do. Then an errand and home. Where I took an hour to sit down before my daughter's bus came home. Her backpack held a lovely surprise. Welcome to the lovely world of kindergarten homework. All homework will come home at the beginning of the week and must be returned completed by Thursday with a parent signature on the little reader books. Now this being a short week you'd think the teacher would have a little less homework in the folder. Oh no it was the same as a regular week. Homework session finally ended with daughter in a laughing fit and mommy with a headache. The boys got home not to much after the homework. Then there was the mad dash for a snack and homework for my son and off to soccer practice. Of course my son forgot his water bottle and the neighbor boys coach moved their practice to a different part of the field, oh and the main gate was locked. So the long walk around the soccer fields to the open gate, then the walk across the field to drop of my son, then to walk around with the neighbor till he found his coach, then my son forgot water so a quick trip to town for waters and back to the field. Carrying my folding chair and my purse the whole time The field is big as they can but 2 full sized soccer fields, then all the smaller fields for the different rec. league age groups. I get to sit down, my oldest is babysitting my daughter and I've already given her a bath and my mom was cooking dinner.
3 hours later, my daughter has had several full blown melt downs on my oldest and my mom, cut her hair with scissors I didn't even know we had, cut her laundry hamper, argued with her brother about going to bed, dropping off the neighbor boy then sending his regular shoes home via my oldest, my son and I eating dinner, my oldest goes to feed and "Moooom" as he walks into my mom's house with the lariat over his shoulder. Dang it the goat is out and in the back pasture where she convenitly uses the horses to dodge us. We finally wear her out and my oldest jumps on her and I can get the rope on her. Of course all the while yelling at my son to get inside and shower and my daughter to get inside to her bed.
On to Wed. Sometimes I'm amazed I can get out of bed. Well all the walking and running helped me drop a little weight!!! The morning started out well and I actually got a nap, I normally work nights and I never know if I'll be able to find a sitter at night so that I can pick up a shift. Then get daughter off the bus. She has lunch at grandma's. I work on the sprinklers, laundry, cleaning off the table, and sweeping the floors. Then homework. As I'm walking the dogs I look up and there is one of our horses, not in his back pasture, but in the front, hanging over the fence waiting for a kiss and some pets. "Huh, how'd you get there". "Oh look you're gate is sideways!" No injuries. Get the dogs inside and the boys off the bus. Get my son started on homework and figure I'll get the horses sorted out later in the evening. My daughter runs up "mommy they need you outside to help with the horses RIGHT NOW!" What? My mom is watering, my oldest decides to get the horses sorted but they can't get the gate on. Someone had lifted the gate off it's hinges! Get that back and and the horses settled. More housework. Mom heated up leftovers and added vegies, so off to dinner. Then back to homework for my son. Take my daughter to soccer practice. Drop her off. Go to grocery. Go back to pick up daughter. Come home. Ask oldest if he fed because the boys are still hollering. He goes out to feed and comes in to ask "Mom where'd you put the rope?" NOT AGAIN! Yes the escape artist goat is out again! I swear this goat could have given Houdini a run for his money!
Finally get the kids into bed and realize I have a cold coming on.
Of course and It's only Wed.
Do I really want to anticipate tomorrow?s

Humility

There is nothing that brings humility more than having a daughter.
Especially a fashion forward, worried about makeup and looks, just turned 5 years old.
She apparently comes by this naturally, not from me, but through the hubs side of the family. On his maternal side, one aunt is the nails, cloths, and shoes type and the other aunt was a model in her younger years and even in her 80's she is still very style conscience. And then there is my hubs, who worked for years as a glamour photog. My daughter got every one of their style, art, fashion, and make-up genes.
My daughter found shoes at a young age. On a trip to Fl. for a wedding when she was a year, she had more shoes than I did! At 14 months in a bridal store my daughter found the shoes AND they were low enough that she could get to them!
Back to humility though.
Standard comments from my little girl run the form of "you're fat mommy", "you need make-up mommy", "what's that on your lip mommy? It pokes me when you kiss me" (need to wax the upper lip again), "don't wear that mommy", ect. Of course I remind her that it's not nice to say those things and she apologizes as only a little girl can.
Yet she can raise the ego also. With comments like "you look beautiful", "that's perfect", "I like when you wear those shoes", "we match!", and "I Love You Mommy" ~ the best one of the bunch!
All these comments can come in the span of half an hour. Talk about a bipolar half hour. LOL. It wears me out sometimes. Taking her shopping is exhausting and not something that I like to do often. She even tries to shop for me. I wonder if she'll be a professional shopper.
I don't want to give the wrong idea though, she can and loves to play in mud and dirt and is just at home playing cars as dolls. At a recent peewee rodeo event she was outside playing with trucks in the dirt, the only girl in a crowd of boys.
Oh my darling, complicated, silly, sweet girl. The years that we have ahead of us, I can't wait to hear what will come out of her mouth next.

Touch

Human touch is such an important part of life, a basic need. We all crave to be touch. Just a hand on the shoulder or a gentle hug from a friend.
When though do we lose that need for such spontaneous gestures?
The kids squirm into bed whenever they can even if just for a few minutes to be held and cuddled. My daughter loves to hug all our friends and family. My son at 8 still has a thing for my tummy, wanting to touch it whenever he can. Even my 14 year old still want to, on occasion and when no one is looking, sit on my lap.
I feel the need for touch also. When ever I my husband gives rubs my back or even on the rare occasions when I treat myself to a massage I can feel my skin aching to be touched. A need to have human contact.
Maybe we can just remember that people need to be touched and make more of an effort to touch our friends more.

~this moment

This moment - A Friday Ritual, no words, capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. One to savor and remember ~ From SouleMama (tm)

Ode to a Horse

Joe came into my family's life in 1989, when I wasn't quite 17. He was brought down by my parents' friends from Oregon in a 1955 Miley 2 horse trailer being towed by an RV, one side filled with Alfalfa. They didn't get Joe out once because they were afraid he wouldn't go back in. My parents' friend had a back injury and could not ride Joe anymore. He did use Joe to hunt off of and apparently he pulled a travois with a deer on it once.
Joe was a great big old style blood bay Morgan. He shined when he was all groomed up. He was only 15.2 hands but due to his style he was our heaviest horse. We always knew when we were hauling Joe unlike our taller TB, Standardbred, or QH. His feet were also huge, to hold his mass.
Joe became my dad's horse for awhile. He enjoyed saddling him up and riding around, even when my dad was getting sick.
Joe taught a lot of people to ride. He was very good at figuring out who needed the extra protection and who could be tested a lot. He was my best 4H horse and always dumped the know-it-alls on the ground. He always knew when he was at a show, even when he was older, and "studded up" (making himself look muscley) and put on a proud head carriage. My stepson started riding him at 7 months and my favorite picture is of the three of us showing leadline at the fair, as "My Eee" when my stepson was only 16 months.
He was a true Morgan with an amazing sense of humor. He played keep away with a chain with one farrier, water splash fights at the lake, and once made the most god awful noise when a young farrier was working on his front leg - the farrier looked up thinking something was wrong when Joe blew saliva and snot all over him. We had all heard and seen the horse version of hocking a lugey.
Joe got old, and while no longer ridable, due to a kick fight injury to his knee, he still loved to be groomed, bathed, and loved on. We agonized for the last year over the big decision. We had to put my mom's horse down before the winter, the two had been almost inseperable for 20 years. Joe was very angry and agonized for a day over losing her. We put Joe in the arena and didn't go near him for a day. We thought then about the decision. Joe had sweet itch which made spring and summer miserable for him. The last year or so he's had such a hard time getting up after rolling.
One night, 3 weeks ago, Joe laid down for the last time. My stepson found him during morning feeding and came up and got my mom. He didn't look as if he was in any distress, just that his big old Heart gave out.
The herd lost one great old horse, with a huge personality and the pasture isn't the same without him.
Oh Joe I miss you so.

A really didn't know why I was feeling so melancoly for Joe last night until I was sitting waiting for the Kindergarten bus to show up with my daughter today. Today was the first day of school and I was reminded of the all the years that Joe would stand and wait at the fence for first my stepson and then my son to get off the bus. He waited everyday and even in the summer would stand at the fence watching, until he had to move to the old horse pasture. That memory was hiding away for the right moment.

Rough Go

My middle son is having a rough go of it at the moment. I think part of it has to do with the fact that for the majority of the time he is the middle but at times he is the oldest. My oldest son is my step-son, so every weekend and every other week he's at his mom's. This causes for a lot of jealousy when both boys are home together. It's gotten so bad that my oldest resents my middle son's friend. They fight and they fight all the time over pretty much everything. My oldest can of course be down right evil, as only a teen can be, and that just crushes my son.
The oldest and my daughter team up and pick on my middle boy. Unfortunately he gets so hurt and frustrated by it that he usually melts down. It's truely sad and I have no idea how to stop it. We've tried grounded them from each other. We've tried taking things away. It got so bad once, on the way to SF for an aquarium and natural history museum I pulled the car back into the driveway and made everyone get out and started unloading the car. That worked the best. The stopped fighting amazed that I was serious and after about 15 minutes came and asked to go and promised to stop. Well we still had attitude issues on and off but at least the constant picking stopped.
My hubs and my son are exactly alike, and that is causing problems, and the other two pick up on this. My hubs and my son butt heads like two bulls jockeying for position. I have finally told my husband to knock it off and figure out a more peaceful solution as I am done done done being in the middle. I will no longer referee a fight between the two of them. I've also reminded hubs that he is the adult.
I am glad that school is starting soon. While I like summer and being more relaxed and freer to do things, I am going to be happy that there is no more constant bickering and nitpicking going on.

This moment

Thank you SouleMama ~ this moment is a Friday ritual. A single photo, no words, capturing a moment from the week.

Strength

Hubs has been gone for a night with 3 more to go. I had forgotten what it was like not to have him handy. He started work again about 3 weeks ago. My youngest is starting kinder next week so we no longer need anyone to be 100% dedicated at home anymore. I still work weird shifts and it varies so I am freer to be home if needed. The oddest thing is the taking for granted that the Hubs was going to be home. That if there was anything that needed to be done at the last minute, he was there. Now we have to plan out everything.
It reminds me that I have a strength I don't always remember that is there. An ability to do many different things that need doing. Maybe I take longer or make more trips but it gets done. The ability to manage the house and the kids and the outside pretty dang well. I forget that a lot and found myself falling back on the old ways on hubs days off. So now I have to figure out how to balance both sides.
Spending the time with the kids now is different also. With Hubs going back to work and the kids being older, the kids have had to step up and take a bit more chores on. My middle has learned to do laundry, it's not always stain free, but it's clean. My youngest is dumping trashes and feeding kitties. My oldest is still feeding the horses at night but he's also moving the sprinklers when he hears my alarm going off, without being asked and it's heartwarming when he and my middle one aren't fighting and he reads a story to him at bedtime.
This change will be good for all of us.

A New Day

Hubs and I took the kids and my mom to the river the other day. It's a quiet spot on a weekday, I refuse to go on a weekend or holiday. We took out of town family there last week and couldn't figure out why we haven't go back in years.
Our old house didn't have air conditioning so to beat the 100+ degree days we'd go immerse ourselves in the cold, cold water being released from the bottom of the dam. Then, after lowering my body temp. sufficiently to leave me shivering and a bit blue, we'd come home and I'd be able to sleep until time to get up for my shift at night. We'd taken my DSS there a few times when he was little but slowly we came to stop going. The sad part is, it takes about four minutes to reach it.
Now with 3 kids it's a bit more challenging. It means bringing more equipment then just towels and ourselves. Life jackets are required even though we stay in a part of the river that runs off the main river and is quieter, shallower, and safer, which ends in a down south bayou looking area. We forgot to bring food which lead to melt downs and hurt feelings and the hubs running home for sandwiches.
But it was worth it and the kids want to go back before school starts up again. We had laughing splashing children and laughing splashing adults. It meant stowing away some of the adulthood that the hubs and I are mired in now and enjoying the day and staying in the moment.
That is such a hard concept for adults to do. Just to stay in the moment. Adults have so many tasks that need to be completed, paid, called, returned, gotten. The list never really ends. Children though, children live for that moment, that time without worrying about all the other daily minutia that fill up the lives of an adult. Really how hard is it to live in the moment. Isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth taking the time each day to look and see and be?
I'm going to try to do better are you?

My littlest is 5 and I can't seem to grasp it!

It's been a little over two weeks since my baby turned five. Five, such a big age. No longer a baby but a big girl now. Five is an awesome milestone for kids. Five means kindergarten and new friends, school buses and reading.
This summer is a bittersweet time for me. My little girl is just that a little girl and is showing all the independence that goes along. Yet she still wants mommy to cuddle her in bed at bedtime. Then she rolls over to go to sleep, telling me "I just need a cool space mommy. Is that ok?" She wants to run across the driveway every morning to see grandma, safer than it sounds as it's our driveway between the two houses. Yet doesn't want to go upstairs if the lights off.
She's the youngest and our last. I want to savor each moment of her years, we won't be going through them again, but she wants to rush forward like a train rushing on the tracks. Eager to find out what's next.

Blogging

One thing I've noticed about myself is that when I am actively blogging or reading about blogging I think in terms of stories. I see my day as a story that needs to be told. I hadn't realized it'd been a year since I've been on here. I haven't read any blogs and I haven't posted anything in a year.
I think that motherhood and life just grabs hold and runs. I think I have time and a year passes. I used to have a passion for writing. I seemed to have more time for it when I was younger. I used to keep a pad and pen with me always and had several ideas written down all the time.
Now finding a free paper is next to impossible and forget about finding a pen. Why is that? Where do we become so bogged down in responsiblities that we no longer have time for a few moments of reflection? Where to reclaim it?
Well if someone knows the secret, please let me in on it!