Sadness

Sometimes sadness floats down like a gentle rain on the unexpecting. Slowly getting you wet until all of the sudden you are soaked.
Othertimes sadness hits with a strength and force to take the breath away and drop you to your knees.

I prefer the second kind of sadness, the kind where it hits and you know why. Not the gentle rain where all of the sudden, I'm sad and I have to figure out why, what happened during the day that lead me to that feeling.
Tuesday Hubby and I finished our Christmas shopping. It was something we'd been trying to do for the last 2 weeks but with colds and our loss, we couldn't. So be damned being sick and out we went, shopping light headed, coughing, and medicated is not an experience I'd recommend. I thought I'd be careful, I learned to avoid the maternity area at Target, when hubby needed a new pair of unripped pants for the funeral. But by the end of the day I was sad. I think it was seeing all the baby things that are everywhere, the dresses, the toys, the furniture and all the new babies that seemed to be everywhere also. Our 3 are 3 and up so neither of us though that the toy section would lead to sadness. Hubby left the radio on Jazz most of the day, until the ride home when I needed a strong dose of country. Wrong choice as the second line in the song was about a newborn baby sleeping, hubby said "turn it", so we found some easy listening instead.
Sadness creeps in and settles in the heart but a light can follow and burn the sadness out.